The Month of “My Fisherman” Ted

July has been “The Month of Ted,” my dear husband.  I am all about making birthdays a big deal, thanks to my mother always making a big deal of birthdays for me.  Ted might rather birthdays pass a little quieter, but he goes along with our festivities, and maybe even secretly enjoys them.  Last summer our dear friends helped us through a tough summer, declaring June “The Month of Kristina,” and July “The Month of Ted,”  as we both have summer birthdays.  It was a sad summer in 2010 after losing our baby Lily in the Spring, but with the help of our friends, the Schweitzer’s, we made it through the tough summer and even had some fun forgetting about all the struggles and just having some good times with good friends.  Yes, you can tell we don’t yet have any kids here

with us, having such the luxury to declare a whole month for each of us as adults, but with the loss of our baby, we deserved such treatment for at least one or two summers, right??

Well, this summer the jokes and tradition continued with me getting some recognition and fun in June, and Ted getting to declare July, once again “The Month of Ted.”  Last week was the actual week of his birthday, July 20, and I truly tried to make it a special week for him.  As the week was coming to a close, I was thinking about how he is truly a wonderful man and husband, and about all the things we have journeyed through good and bad in the past several years, especially in the past year or so.  So, I decided I needed at least one post in his honor, before the month of July comes to a close.

I was most clearly aware of his greatness on Friday morning, as I pulled into Starbucks jamming a bit to some fun music, smashing a bit into a curb, and then getting out to find my passenger right front tire FLAT as a pancake, realizing I was not going anywhere quickly.  So, I texted Ted, and he was able to come rather quickly to my rescue, when really he needed to be at work.  We even ran into a familiar face from our church, Judy, and as she glanced at Ted, at work laying under my car, she declared, “Wow, you have your own personal triple AAA service man here working hard!!”   My husband never complained, and he never stated a bit of stress, he just quickly started to work.  This is the man he is.  There is a problem, and he solved it, without a single complaint, and helped his pregnant wife in an embarrassing time of need.

We even have a bit of a joke about my tendency to “hit curbs”  more frequently than maybe the average individual, and he has already changed a tire for me  back in January of this same year, due to me accidently hitting some rocks in my alley.  So, he had a little “ammo” if you will to feed frustration, anger, etc.  But, he is a man of honor and he chose the high road, and this is generally how he rolls through life.  I have noticed that I can be a complainer and blamer at times, and Ted just silently chooses to walk above these things, and I can truly appreciate this part of him at times.  He did laugh a little, which made the whole thing more fun and less tense, and I did deserve at least a little teasing.  He stated, “I could have guessed it would have been the front passenger side,”  indicating he suspected possible “curb” involvement on my part.  But, he stopped there, and I quickly confessed that I may  have hit a curb, and that I was sorry he was having to come and fix it, when I could have chosen to be a little more careful.  He just laughed, smirked, and kept working.

Later this same day, I got to observe him quietly looking very closely at the sonogram pictures at the doctor with me as we got a glimpse of our precious baby girl.  You could just tell by his face, that he was excited and already anticipating joy of her arrival to come.

I realized in that moment how lucky I am, and how I can so often get caught up day to day life stress, and I can lose sight of the amazing love and man that I have to walk alongside me through this crazy journey of life.  I will be honest, losing a baby as a couple, is not by any means an easy road to walk or mountain to climb.  Then, the process of making decisons about another child after such a loss, is equally as difficult.  At times, it was so painful, and I felt so dark, I became more focused on myself and only exactly what I wanted as an individual, losing sight of our identity as a “team” and a “family.”  I had never struggled so deeply, and I know that as a man, this was hard for him in many other ways.  He was struggling with his own grief, but also dealing with a sad and dark wife, whom for the most part he was used to being a little more “happy go lucky.”  At times, he wished he could do something to make it all better, but this simply wasn’t possible.  Now a year later, I can feel such a sense of relief and hope as I realized we have made it through a very difficult part in our journey, and although there were some very tough bumps in the road, our love as a couple is deeper, and our commitment is stronger.  And for that, I am truly grateful!

Fishing will surely be in our daughter’s future, at least while she is young, and Ted will seek to protect her all the days of her life to come.  Just last week, I got to observe a sweet moment, as he was petting and talking to our female dog “Marty.”  He stated, “Marty you are in trouble, there is someone even cuter than you coming, what will you do when she arrives?”  Our dog Marty, is very cute, and she knows it, and she loves her Ted.  It was cute to witness him telling her and warning her about the little baby girl, that may be coming and rock her world a bit.

So, here is to my wonderful husband, who will be a wonderful father to this little girl to come!  We have a lifetime of memories and other journeys to travel through together.  And, in so many ways, I am truly lucky that this Fisherman, decided I was a great “Catch” for him many years ago.  He has definitely been a Big “Keeper,” for me!  May God continue to bless us and guide us as we journey through this pregnancy and on into full fledged parenthood!